Now, before we get started, there are no spoilers in this whatsoever. You’re safe. Except to say that Chris is a ruiner, and Brad Pit gets shot in the face.
That last line has become code between my friend Andy and I, after we talked to our friend Chris about a film we wanted to see. He said that he’d seen it, then said that it was rubbish, and then said that Brad Pit gets shot in the face. Andy and I never did go to see the film, we had no need, because Chris ruined it. It may well have been rubbish, we may not have enjoyed it, but surely that’d be for us to make our minds up about ourselves. I’ve no problem at all with other peoples opinions and views, but please don’t tell spoil the film/program/story for me. Bruce Willis is really dead, he has a gun taped to his back, he really does have super powers, he’s actually made of jam. I don’t want to know. Until I’m watching it, and I can be as surprised as you were. Years ago, the day after I saw the film Seven for the first time, I was going somewhere on a train and this girl started telling her mum and dad about a film she’d seen the night before. It was really, really, good. She was sure that they’d like it. When they asked he what it was about, she started to describe the film Seven. She described it in quite some detail, sin by sin by sin by sin by sin by- I interrupted. I had no place whatsoever to do so, they were complete strangers to me, but I felt I had no choice. “What are you doing…?”
All of them looked a little taken aback, and the girl didn’t reply, so I continued.
“You can’t tell them all of it.”
“Why not? I’m trying to get them to see it, I’m just letting them know how good it was.”
“By telling them what happens at the end of the film?”
“So they know what to expect-”
“What? So you’re- It was good the end wasn’t it?”
“It won’t be for them.”
They got up, and moved carriages, I have no idea if she got to spoil the rest of the film for them.
My feelings about films, and plots, have always been this strong. But in the past few years I’ve lapsed a little on the television front. Lost is a massive guilty pleasure. I really can’t get enough of it. It’s a fantastic show, and it’s a fantastic show to theorise about. But when you’ve exhausted your long suffering girlfriends ability to humour you (Jen had to put up with me drawing, and then explaining a diagram last night), and eventually bored your friends with your ideas, you’re left with only one place to go. Forums. The one I used was The Lost Podcast Listener Forum, and it was brilliant. Some of the ideas that people had were rubbish, and laughable, but some were brilliant, and some the community developed and ran with… I wasted hour after hour reading through them all. However, even though I stuck to Your Lost Theories, occasionally I’d stumble across something I didn’t want to. Spoilers. Untagged ones at that, there out in the open for anyone to see. Somebody theorising that maybe we were going to get to see the future was really quite cool, but someone saying that all the flashbacks from the two hour finale of season 3 are going to be flashforwards isn’t cool at all. Except… I kind of then when looking for more. Most of them were only minor. Like where the actors had been spotted filming, and with whom, or new sets that had been spotted, and it all seemed fairly harmless. But then every now again I’d come across a major one, and I was then gutted that I’d read it. I’d ruined it for myself. So I stopped, and went back to the forum. But again ruiners would occasionally drop some snippet in, only to then claim that they it was common knowledge, so I stopped reading the forum too. I was spoiler free. In fact, by the end of last season I wouldn’t go on the internet between each new episode airing in the states and me having watched it. However, I’d then go and change my FB status to something cryptic, that only someone that would have watched the episode would get, to let my fellow geeks know that I’d seen it and that it was safe to talk. It didn’t always go to plan though, and I hadn’t been quite as criptic as I could, and I ended up becoming a ruiner. Sorry Jem, sorry Tash.
So now, I truly am spoiler free*. Although… the lovely Jen loves Doctor Who, much more than I do, and reads a DW forum. And sometimes I may happen to catch site of photographs of filming as she’s sat next to me on the sofa and I’ll become transfixed. “They’re filming at…? And is that…? And that’s the…?”
Reading over someones shoulder is bad manners for a start, but I really should stop spoiling things for myself.
*except that, I may have spoilt a film, or maybe even every film you’ll ever see, with Brad Pit in it because you’ll be sat there waiting for him to be shot in the face. Sorry about that.