Now I will warn you, I’m only including this particular text because of the awesomosity of it’s length. It’s not funny, well not intentionally, and it doesn’t really have much of a point to it…
“Alrite bud, thought I’d just see if they’d been any developments on the iPod connection lead thing. And also tell you something really anal. Last weekend whilst in mk some las ran into the back of me (in my car, not bus) I expected the damage to be alot worse than it was. But the bumper held it’s shape after bouncing back. Just grazed to fuck. Lights, boot lid etc are all fine. Exshaust too is fine. She creased the rear bump bar, boot spare wheel well and boot drop are untouched thankfully. It’s having a new upper and lower bumper and bump bar. £700 in total. Obv all through insurance. Her car was pretty mashed. Was a 206, needsnew bonnet and I think one light was fucked. Also front bumper was well out of shape. The woman got out and said after looking at her car: “your car must be well solid” I was like yeah thanks for finding that out for me. I was quite calm though, as it was a wet road, and the traffic stopped pretty quick. Comes down to who was paying more intention and who has bigger brakes! These things happen hey. Oh yeah on a happier note do you know ***** is leaving ******* store, posted too ***********. Think it’s a case of not much say in the matter. And him and ***** far from seeing eye to eye. Talk about dead wood, long over due I say. *** ”
I have no clue as to just how much time that would have taken to type, or indeed how much his phone bill is each month, but I suspect the answer to both is a lot.
*The names have been removed to protect the innocent.