Apologies.

Sorry, the blog looks a little scruffy as half the photos have disappeared.

The links all still work however, so please click if you want to see what should be there.

Secondhand rant

Sweet Baby Jesus, what have I done?

I actively encouraged this, on two separate occasions to boot.

Wether you end up agreeing with what he says or not is slightly besides the point, because it’s a hugely entertaining rant and well worth a read.

Although… why I let this man/bear be my guiding voice whilst writing my book, I shall never know.

An essay.

I mentioned in my last post that I, well, The Bear and I, know of someone who regularly sends fairly weighty essay-legnth-text messages.

Now I will warn you, I’m only including this particular text because of the awesomosity of it’s length. It’s not funny, well not intentionally, and it doesn’t really have much of a point to it…

“Alrite bud, thought I’d just see if they’d been any developments on the iPod connection lead thing. And also tell you something really anal. Last weekend whilst in mk some las ran into the back of me (in my car, not bus) I expected the damage to be alot worse than it was. But the bumper held it’s shape after bouncing back. Just grazed to fuck. Lights, boot lid etc are all fine. Exshaust too is fine. She creased the rear bump bar, boot spare wheel well and boot drop are untouched thankfully. It’s having a new upper and lower bumper and bump bar. £700 in total. Obv all through insurance. Her car was pretty mashed. Was a 206, needsnew bonnet and I think one light was fucked. Also front bumper was well out of shape. The woman got out and said after looking at her car: “your car must be well solid” I was like yeah thanks for finding that out for me. I was quite calm though, as it was a wet road, and the traffic stopped pretty quick. Comes down to who was paying more intention and who has bigger brakes! These things happen hey. Oh yeah on a happier note do you know ***** is leaving ******* store, posted too ***********. Think it’s a case of not much say in the matter. And him and ***** far from seeing eye to eye. Talk about dead wood, long over due I say. *** ”

I have no clue as to just how much time that would have taken to type, or indeed how much his phone bill is each month, but I suspect the answer to both is a lot.

*The names have been removed to protect the innocent.

In Bruges

This is the second instalment of “texts from The Bear.” It’s quite old, and out of date now, but I was reminded of it last night and instructed to post it. So here, for your reading pleasure, is a film review from The Bear.

“I won’t beat around the bush here. I fucking HATE Colin Farrel. He’s possibly the most annoying and frustrating actor I’ve ever had the misfortune to spend 90 odd minutes watching. And I only went to see ‘In Bruges’ because some fat woman made us late for Iron man. I now must repent. I take back everything I have EVER said about Colin. Throughout this film he is brilliant. Every face he pulls, every action he makes, every word he says….is pure brilliance. And in many cases, pure comic brilliance. The film stands on the sound foundations of a very well written script, one in which you find yourself grinning with delight upon it’s crass, arrogant, bigoted and hilarious vocalisation. It’s a strong runner too. Entertaining to the last, despite being quite slow moving on the whole. Think of it more like a person trying to take in the scenic view of a car accident. Before I needlessly go on for too long, it must be said. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And at points felt like I was going to pass unconcious due to the uncontrollable laughter I had inflicted upon me. Must watch.”

However, I think I’ve stumbled across a more prolific essay-legnth-text-meassage writer. One of which I’ll post very soon indeed.

Drivel

I may well talk (and write) some utter nonsense when I’m sober, but when I’ve had a drink that nonsense get’s turned up to eleven.

When I’m trying to hold a conversation after having a drink I show no signs of having any thought process whatsoever or, sadly,  a point. And it’s such random nonsense at that, non of which appears to link together.

Here are some of the gems something deep inside my brain decided that I wanted to talk about last night;

How Jonty still owes me a theme tune.

The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix circuit.

The new Apple Mighty Mouse.

Flash memory.

Merino wool.

Long johns.

Fixed-wheel bicycles.

The Guv’nor.

Commenting on a music review.

Kato.

Our old sofa.

Merino wool, again.

How we were the best bar staff that ever walked the earth.

Pies.

Scotland.

The voice that guides me.

And that was it, I think, although this list will probably grow a little as more of it comes back to me*. Utter nonsense, the lot of it. I should really apologise to my friends for inflicting it, and myself, on them. Of whom I think Dave and Will bore the brunt of it, sorry guys.

 

*I may well expand upon some of these subjects in the future too.

Want

Awesome photo.

Awesome mask.

I want one, but fear that I’d never take it off.

Guilty pleasure

 

new toy

Originally uploaded by magicmoir

My boss is under the impression that I’m a geek. Which I’m not, and I will always try to deny. I say “try” because my argument becomes unstuck when he mentions Doctor Who. It’s not that I’m a massive fan; I don’t go to conventions, I don’t belong to any forums, I don’t dress up like The Doctor*, and I definitely haven’t painted any of the doors in my flat to look like the TARDIS (yet). But Doctor Who is a huge guilty pleasure for me.

The current David Tennant/Russell T Davis incarnation of Doctor Who is adorable, unmissable, and is arguably the best the program has ever been. However this incarnation will be over in the next two months, and I have no idea what to think. When he got shot shot before – by the Dalek, whilst running to be reunited with Rose – and began to regenerate, I almost cried*. Having to then wait an entire week to find out what happened was truly awful, and I’m now having to go through that all over again. Only more protracted and drawn out, and with the knowledge that there will definitely be a new Doctor at the end of it all. Not only that, but Russell will be gone too, and both the outside and the inside of the TARDIS will change too (regenerate perhaps?). It’s slightly frightening, and exciting, all at the same time.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what Steven Moffat does with Doctor Who, but I have no idea what to make of Matt Smith as the new Doctor. The first time I saw a photo of him I couldn’t understand why he’d been chosen, but then when I saw him being interviewed it became quite obvious. However. That was him being interviewed as himself, not The Doctor. Other than his outfit we’ve seen nothing of him as The Doctor at all and I’ll just have to wait to see what he does with the role which, as I said, is “slightly frightening, and exciting, all at the same time.”

*Neither of these two statements are entirely true.

Tchotchke

Apple Magic Mouse

Originally uploaded by jorgeq

I’ve been using this for a few days now, and it’s awesome.

I must admit that I only ordered it because, well, it looks really cool, and it appeared to be a really good idea. But as I waited for it to turn up in the post I started to have second thoughts. I struggled to see how it would work, how easy it would be to use, and what use it would be at all. I needn’t have, as I said, awesome.

If you’ve got a Mac, save your pennies and go and buy one.

Goodity

goodity

 

Originally uploaded by magicmoir

What, well, this is about trends really. What is it that makes you internet users go and look at one photograph over another, or one blog posting over another. And this ins’t about why am I not as popular as… whoever. This has nothing to do with me whatsoever, and everything to do with me all at the same time, this is… market research. WordPress has a page which show’s blog statistics, which is fascinating, but it doesn’t show quite enough information, and it is oh-so-very frustrating. The one thing that it doesn’t show you, the one thing that no set of statistics can show you – well, me – is why? Why is that this blogs most read post, is a rather dull post with a one word title* which contains a photograph of an object I found in a cupboard? I have much funnier, better written, posts. Why that one in particular?

And as for the photograph? Well, that only compounds the problem. That one particular photo is currently my most viewed photograph on Flickr. Which is odd, because it’s far from my best photographs that I have on the site.

My current thought’s are that it’s the title of both the blog post and the photograph, that one word*. The word*, I think, I heard Michael Caine use in the film Alfie and isn’t really in current common usage. I’ve since tried to use just one word titles for blog posts and photographs, but none as yet have proved as popular.

This is a question I’m likely to never find the answer for, but I think it’s one I’m going to struggle to stop myself asking. And; why is that more people have chosen to look at a photograph of some worn out Vans, than have looked at a photograph of some rather fine looking homemade cookies? Or that photograph of a train platform in Scotland, over some of the photographs in magic-hour just outside Clifton? And what is it about that one particular photograph of Martin…?

As for the title of this post it comes from a text message from The Bear, the context and the point of which is long since forgotten; “Don’t lie to me about it’s goodity, it’d break my hearts.” (There are bonus points available for correctly identifying the reference). The photograph is just an random old one that I meant to put up on Flickr ages ago, and has nothing whatsoever to do with this post…

Jettisoned

fiat

Originally uploaded by magicmoir

Back in March I posted a blog about my distinct lack of knowledge in regards to car mechanicing, and how I’d panic at the first sign of a problem. Well, I went and did something about it.

Less than three months later I left the only job I’ve ever really had, and started work in a garage. In fact, it was the very same garage that had inadvertently caused the debacle in the first place. I work there as assistant manager, and over the past few months I have increased my mechanical knowledge no end. And with this knowledge I came to make, what would would appear to be, a somewhat strange decision. I’ve jettisoned my car.

It occurred to me that owning a car was a bit of an extravagance, not to mention a huge expense, especially when I work less than two miles away from where I live. The town centre is a ten minute walk away in one direction, and there’s a good supermarket a ten minute walk away in the other. I simply don’t need one. Of course the weather is yet to turn yet, and I may well regret this decision when winter arrives, but as it stands at the moment I can’t believe that I didn’t do this years ago.